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So much is changing so quickly online now. That we don't realize when something is affecting us. It's good to do what you're advising and also to take a little time now and then for reflection about where we are. In a way, we'll always be in this together, especially as the world gets smaller and smaller.
Yes - it's always good to reflect on where we are and who we are becoming.
It seems to me that people often get confused about social media, thinking that it's about technology or automation, when it's really about developing heartfelt relationships.
People aren't looking for more effective communication, they're looking for more effective connections.
John
Social media is one of the greatest and most useful tools to come along in some time. For me, social media tools such as twitter actually complete the business end of my business, my blog. Using social media tools such as twitter extend our reach and our audience. We are able to micro-blog feeds and thoughts we simple would not or could not do on our blog. It is an instant way to add to and provide something to the conversations which are taking place. And tools like twitter have extended our blog's audience in huge ways. For me it is like having over 1,300 subscribers to my RSS feed. And it is the same for me too.
And you are so right John when you say you have to be yourself. Mainly you have to be transparent. And if you are not, people are going to know and what influence you have gained, will be lost.
Great post and this is just one example why I have you in my RSS reader and follow you on twitter.
First of all Thank you for inviting me to comment here.
Yours is a wonderfully Succinct post commentary on the importance of being who you are and building relationships and connections especially in Social Networks and Social Media.
If your okay I am going to add a snippet to of your commentary and a link to you blog on my own Twitter for Business page because yours continues the conversation from the Why to the how.
Thanks
Man - you've brought this whole thing to a new level: "Give way more then you receive. And don’t expect to receive just because you give"
90% of my success with social media, and everything else in my life, is because of this rule.
@Nicholas - link away, brother!
Thanks so much guys.
John
So far .. the only people that impress me the most are the ones that actually engage in a conversation with you on twitter - meaning - when people reach out and tweet their 2 cents, they jump in and start conversing and keep a twitversation going on almost in real time (instead of like me - just stop twitter use and come back 5-6 hours later and offer replies to out of dated conversations)
People's openness don't impress because it's not relevant. The novelty of talking to people who actually have accomplished much or, have high profile wears off quite fast if you are just a fan and trying to get a reply from them, instead of actually talking to them with something worth talking about (e.x. just saying hi! How's the weather? probably won't cut it)
Good point: "...jump in and start conversing and keep a twitversation going on almost in real time."
Honestly, this has been a challenge for me, simply because of my schedule. I'll typically scan the tweets from a particular user and then jump in. If the exchange becomes more about the two of us, I'll take it underground (using direct messaging).
How do you keep up with conversations?
John
But I'm glad you mentioned the direct messaging .. to me, that is meant more for stuff you don't want public (email, passwords, usernames, real names, etc)... If you don't want to converse with another in the public's eye in public view on twitter - consider using google talk, or email instead! Twitter is meant for the world to see what you are doing and tallking about in 140 characters in less.
A lot of folks seem to forget their many competencies as soon as they start poking around in this new space, and while a number of guidelines, traditions, metrics, and whatnot no longer apply, common sense certainly does. Using it as your main guide to interaction gets you half way to success.
Same thing as applying the golden rule. Just because you may be representing a company doesn't mean you're suddenly a different person than the one who hates navigating telephone menu navigation, being treated rudely by customer service staff, or trying to figure out counter-intuitive interfaces. One of the most important (and valuable to your company) causes you can take up is to not force experiences on your community that you hate having to deal with yourself.
To be any good at working in a people-centered space, just start by caring about people. The tools, tactics, and measurements come later.
Here is a post that I came across in late May that may be beneficial to this conversation.
You don't have to have an emotional, deeply felt conversation to be authentic. You just need to drop that pitch and converse. For a business this probably means more listening. Once you understand a need you can position your product and service to meet it.
This is a great post and combined with many of the comments embodies the true power of social media. It's not about traffic aka "hits". It's not about selling a product or service. It's about creating relationships and engaging in authentic conversations.
I'll start doing email once a conversation has developed around a specific project.
I'll have to try Skype!
@Melanie - Exactly - following common sense seems to work well for people like Hart, you, Liz, James and many other bloggers. We all need reminders!
By the way, I think AidRSS is a great tool to use for my third point (“Bodhisattva” Ain’t No Steely Dan Song) by automatically sifting through feeds for the best stuff. This way, folks effectively "give way more then than they receive", as Grant mentions, without going mentally insane.
John
"You don’t have to have an emotional, deeply felt conversation to be authentic."
Yeah - we don't want therapy sessions here, we just want people to be themselves.
John
And, it ain't just a social media thing. Spend the first 6 months of a new business leading with a giving hand and watch miracles unfold. It's always been one of my primary start-up strategies, plus it just plain feels good to give more than you get.
The people that talk about who they are and what they feel are so much more interesting than the people who tell me what they want to sell.
Found your blog through someone on twitter who shared it - and because I value their opinion I read it and leave here with something more than I came here with.
Thanks
Thanks for the great post.
@Jonathon - Thanks for joining the discussion here. "...plus it just plain feels good to give more than you get."
@Bill - Who sent you? I'd like to say thanks.
@Pamela - Great point. BTW, I like what you have going on at your blog!
Curious: Why don't we hear more about the role of helping others in developing a business? Why aren't there more business books like "The Go-Giver"?
John
I have a saying: If it ain't real it's wrong.
What examples of "real" have you seen?
And why auto-DM'ing new followers with "Hi, thanks for the follow, here's my e-commerce site" is a big turn-off to many twitizens (me included).
My challenge with Twitter is to keep my communication authentic (which means *not* automating it, despite the number of tools that enable scaling & automation) and still follow an increasing number of people, and take part in an increasing number of conversations. I suppose at some point that means limiting my follows, but I'd still rather do that than fake a connection with a large group.
I wonder how the rockstars deal with this?
Twitter's a tough nut to crack. On the one hand, we respect those who are social, who converse, who contribute. On the other hand, if everybody did that the whole thing would collapse under it's own oh-so-social weight.
Luckily, this operates on a bell curve. The Pareto Principle applies here just as much as anywhere else, although the ratio is probably -- and thankfully -- closer to 95/5 than 80/20. Because social = awesome but too-much-social = overwhelming and full of boring people pretending to be cool.
Did I say that out loud? :)
There are also other folks out there who have genuine voices. Michael Martine, Remarkablogger, is one of them. There are others. I strive for that authenticity myself. The only way I can achieve it, however, is to pretend I'm a fiction character writing the reality of my own life. Kind of like a Stephen King novel without the scary stuff (although my wife would disagree about the scary stuff). :-)
@Allen - I think Naomi is much scarier than Stephen King - even after he got hit by the van.
:-)
Great blog!
Cheryl
@thedailyblonde
You're not sleeping either? Can't wait for tomorrow's "reprint" of your post.
Yawn....
John
On your blog, you talk about how being who you are gives permission for others to do the same.
The best example of this is the Post Secret blog where folks publicly (but anonymously) share their darkest secret, causing others to do so as well.
John
@John, Well, scariness aside, I think social media allows people to be themselves. One word that irks me to see people use is "transparent". I don't want to be transparent. I'm not naturally that way. People are generally the same online as they are in real life and you can't hide it. Tone comes out in your words. If you're an asshole in the non-virtual world then you'll be an asshole online (and people generally think I'm an asshole). I don't tolerate horse manure real well and don't mind shining a bright light on it when I see it. I tend to gravitate toward others who are the same way. With social media, if you just act like yourself instead of acting like what you think other people want you to be - like, instead of trying to appear as if you are transparent, just be authentic - then you'll draw the people toward you that will compliment what you are doing. Everyone else will drift away (thank God!).
"You don’t have to have an emotional, deeply felt conversation to be authentic. You just need to drop that pitch and converse."
John
Seriously, old man take a look at my life. I'm a lot like you.
James is brilliant.
John