John Haydon - Latest Comments in Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Jeff P — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:37:05 -0000

Great insights there John. So many posts about how to work Twitter, but so many just keep kicking out links to their site and not engaging others to build relationships. You live what you talk, so I bow down in your direction...is it east... :)

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Allen Taylor — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:07:45 -0000

Gee, like Neil Young? Wow, that's crazy, horse.

Seriously, old man take a look at my life. I'm a lot like you.

James is brilliant.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Allen Taylor — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 10:57:56 -0000

@Naomi, lol too funny.

@John, Well, scariness aside, I think social media allows people to be themselves. One word that irks me to see people use is "transparent". I don't want to be transparent. I'm not naturally that way. People are generally the same online as they are in real life and you can't hide it. Tone comes out in your words. If you're an asshole in the non-virtual world then you'll be an asshole online (and people generally think I'm an asshole). I don't tolerate horse manure real well and don't mind shining a bright light on it when I see it. I tend to gravitate toward others who are the same way. With social media, if you just act like yourself instead of acting like what you think other people want you to be - like, instead of trying to appear as if you are transparent, just be authentic - then you'll draw the people toward you that will compliment what you are doing. Everyone else will drift away (thank God!).

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

cvharquail — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 08:18:25 -0000

John, I think you're right on top of the issue that so many marketers and others forget when it comes to social media-- it works best when we use it to extend and maintain authentic relationships. Maybe you'd be interested in a post I just wrote on authenticity and social media.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Cheryl — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:09:48 -0000

Interesting stuff...I love social media because it's so diverse. On Twitter, I am passionate about just being myself and enjoying the connections I make. I have no agenda. I joined Twitter 3 mos ago and try my best to be respectful and have a great time. I'm not out to impress anyone but I don't snub anyone who follows me...unless, of course, they are not human or trying to sell me 24/7 instead of a simple hello!

Great blog!
Cheryl
@thedailyblonde

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Allen Taylor — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 00:46:53 -0000

John, I think your example of Naomi was perfect. She had a controversial post on her blog awhile back that explained why she cut off comments on the blog. Some folks took offense at her tone, but it's her blog. It's her voice. Read it or not. Your choice.

There are also other folks out there who have genuine voices. Michael Martine, Remarkablogger, is one of them. There are others. I strive for that authenticity myself. The only way I can achieve it, however, is to pretend I'm a fiction character writing the reality of my own life. Kind of like a Stephen King novel without the scary stuff (although my wife would disagree about the scary stuff). :-)

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Naomi Dunford — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 00:15:17 -0000

OK, I freely admit that it's the middle of the night, I'm in the middle of launch, and I've been drinking. But I figured I'd comment anyway. (Note to self: write blog post about how that's generally a bad idea.)

Twitter's a tough nut to crack. On the one hand, we respect those who are social, who converse, who contribute. On the other hand, if everybody did that the whole thing would collapse under it's own oh-so-social weight.

Luckily, this operates on a bell curve. The Pareto Principle applies here just as much as anywhere else, although the ratio is probably -- and thankfully -- closer to 95/5 than 80/20. Because social = awesome but too-much-social = overwhelming and full of boring people pretending to be cool.

Did I say that out loud? :)

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Wendy Cholbi — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 23:06:05 -0000

This is why #magpie will (and should) fail.

And why auto-DM'ing new followers with "Hi, thanks for the follow, here's my e-commerce site" is a big turn-off to many twitizens (me included).

My challenge with Twitter is to keep my communication authentic (which means *not* automating it, despite the number of tools that enable scaling & automation) and still follow an increasing number of people, and take part in an increasing number of conversations. I suppose at some point that means limiting my follows, but I'd still rather do that than fake a connection with a large group.

I wonder how the rockstars deal with this?

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Allen Taylor — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:39:24 -0000

Great post. I am amazed at the number of people who continue to use social media like it's some kind of magical pincushion. You poke it and people you can't see on the other side of the world automatically do weird things as you say them out loud. Not!

I have a saying: If it ain't real it's wrong.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Pamela Weir — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:52:06 -0000

It's very true. The most successful people are the ones who give the most of themselves. Whether it's advice or support, the more they give the more we want to be a part of their community and help others succeed. Relationship building isn't as difficult as it seems. It's all about respect and treating others as we would want to be treated.
Thanks for the great post.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Bill Lublin — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:24:13 -0000

John; So succinct and so true. When I started wandering around it seemed that you have to give love to get love, and that was where social media connected for me.
The people that talk about who they are and what they feel are so much more interesting than the people who tell me what they want to sell.
Found your blog through someone on twitter who shared it - and because I value their opinion I read it and leave here with something more than I came here with.
Thanks

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Jonathan Fields — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:19:26 -0000

Here, here!

And, it ain't just a social media thing. Spend the first 6 months of a new business leading with a giving hand and watch miracles unfold. It's always been one of my primary start-up strategies, plus it just plain feels good to give more than you get.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Michael Martine - Remarkablogg — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:09:35 -0000

John, you've totally nailed it with this. Really good. These are the laws that people with traditional marketing and PR backgrounds have such a hard time with. Social media is NOT a propaganda broadcast channel. It's a relationship facilitator.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

James Helms — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:33:55 -0000

Don't F*** with the natural laws of relationships. At the end of the day people want meaningful relationships and authentic conversation...when it's present you are using social media. I think that it is easy to confuse social media with tools. It's not about the tools, it's about the relationship. Social media is the relationship between a customer and a product or service.

Here is a post that I came across in late May that may be beneficial to this conversation.

You don't have to have an emotional, deeply felt conversation to be authentic. You just need to drop that pitch and converse. For a business this probably means more listening. Once you understand a need you can position your product and service to meet it.

This is a great post and combined with many of the comments embodies the true power of social media. It's not about traffic aka "hits". It's not about selling a product or service. It's about creating relationships and engaging in authentic conversations.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

HART (1-800-HART) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:06:46 -0000

or skype chat too // I've been "taking a lot of conversations underground" on that medium too ... mine is the same username as my twitter fyi

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Melanie Baker — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:06:05 -0000

It still seems weird to offer it, but the first (and, I think, best) piece of advice I've been giving to people getting into community management and social media (particularly from the professional side), is: "Give yourself credit for not being stupid".

A lot of folks seem to forget their many competencies as soon as they start poking around in this new space, and while a number of guidelines, traditions, metrics, and whatnot no longer apply, common sense certainly does. Using it as your main guide to interaction gets you half way to success.

Same thing as applying the golden rule. Just because you may be representing a company doesn't mean you're suddenly a different person than the one who hates navigating telephone menu navigation, being treated rudely by customer service staff, or trying to figure out counter-intuitive interfaces. One of the most important (and valuable to your company) causes you can take up is to not force experiences on your community that you hate having to deal with yourself.

To be any good at working in a people-centered space, just start by caring about people. The tools, tactics, and measurements come later.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

HART (1-800-HART) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:03:34 -0000

How do I keep up with conversations? Hmm.. good question. Sometimes it is overwelming, and when that happens I just change the channel and (just like the TV) watch something else!~

But I'm glad you mentioned the direct messaging .. to me, that is meant more for stuff you don't want public (email, passwords, usernames, real names, etc)... If you don't want to converse with another in the public's eye in public view on twitter - consider using google talk, or email instead! Twitter is meant for the world to see what you are doing and tallking about in 140 characters in less.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

HART (1-800-HART) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:44:49 -0000

"Think of someone you’ve met recently who left an impression on you. What impressed you more, their worldly accomplishments or their authenticity and openness?"

So far .. the only people that impress me the most are the ones that actually engage in a conversation with you on twitter - meaning - when people reach out and tweet their 2 cents, they jump in and start conversing and keep a twitversation going on almost in real time (instead of like me - just stop twitter use and come back 5-6 hours later and offer replies to out of dated conversations)

People's openness don't impress because it's not relevant. The novelty of talking to people who actually have accomplished much or, have high profile wears off quite fast if you are just a fan and trying to get a reply from them, instead of actually talking to them with something worth talking about (e.x. just saying hi! How's the weather? probably won't cut it)

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Grant Griffiths — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:01:13 -0000

John- Could not agree more. Let me add the one "golden rule" I try to live my social media life by, give way more then you receive. And don't expect to receive just because you give. And if you can't add something to the conversation that has value, keep your comments to yourself. Especially on twitter.

Social media is one of the greatest and most useful tools to come along in some time. For me, social media tools such as twitter actually complete the business end of my business, my blog. Using social media tools such as twitter extend our reach and our audience. We are able to micro-blog feeds and thoughts we simple would not or could not do on our blog. It is an instant way to add to and provide something to the conversations which are taking place. And tools like twitter have extended our blog's audience in huge ways. For me it is like having over 1,300 subscribers to my RSS feed. And it is the same for me too.

And you are so right John when you say you have to be yourself. Mainly you have to be transparent. And if you are not, people are going to know and what influence you have gained, will be lost.

Great post and this is just one example why I have you in my RSS reader and follow you on twitter.

Re: Don’t F**k With The Natural Laws Of Social Media

Liz Strauss — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:35:20 -0000

Hi John,
So much is changing so quickly online now. That we don't realize when something is affecting us. It's good to do what you're advising and also to take a little time now and then for reflection about where we are. In a way, we'll always be in this together, especially as the world gets smaller and smaller.